Intimacy and sex, too often people believe they are one in the same, they are not. Yes they can be but not always. Many times couples face a time when sexual intimacy is not possible. This can be due to being very young and not ready for this step. It can also come to play when a couple is older and their sexual functions do not work as well and possibly not at all. What do couples in these situations do? This posting will address both of these groups and offer some suggested solutions for remaining intimate without having sexual intimacy.

Young couples (teens and tweens generally)

Young couples should for legal, emotional and, moral reasons cannot always pursue a sexual relationships nor should they try. So how do these couples express their feelings and show intimacy with each other. Lets first look at the simple means. Holding hands, warm embrace and kissing are all forms of intimacy and can warm any heart. This is very important and young couples as its important for them to learn this early. By learning this early they will become better partners later. If the young couple spends time getting close without the diversion of sex they experience more “intimacy”. Sex last but a few moments but a warm embrace will remain in a persons memory for a lifetime. Non sexual intimacy can be much more fulfilling than sex if understood correctly. The young couple must learn this. Walks on the beach, quiet night outdoors, time by a fire or fireplace are all great intimate settings. Let me tell a story of my first love and how an “intimate moment” is still as clear today as it was over 40 years ago

I was in my late teens and seeing a girl we will call “Vicki”. Vicki and I would sit on her front porch and just talk and watch the world outside her porch. We would hold hands embrace and kiss but mostly just cuddle and talk sweetly to each other. I recall looking at the moon. I was overcome with a pleasantness I had never felt before. I could see what appeared to be moonbeam come down from the Moon and touch Vicki and I. I had never felt more pleasure in my life at that moment. I would later realize this to be love. However as you can see we shared a deep intimate moment that has forever be embedded into my memory. Now Vicki and I never married but the lesson remained. What I learned I carried over to other relationships including my current one with my beautiful wife.

So as you can see these nonsexual intimate moments play a big role in the growth of young couples. do not sell short the importance of the embrace. We could discuss other forms of intimacy but young couples often are not ready or lack the patience for them so they will be discussed in our next group. Young couples need to learn how to be intimate in a nonsexual way in order for them to be better partners and have better relationships later in life. So my young friends take time for a nice walk or any form of “quiet” alone time you can to learn how to be intimate.

Couples over 20 and beyond

More mature couples, yes even those in their 20’s can understand nonsexual intimacy. If the couple has already learned about intimacy, as previously discussed. Young couples often focus their relationship on the physical and even if learned forget the true joy on nonsexual intimacy. It is not hard to learn or relearn if need be. Couples need to find that “quiet time” mentioned earlier so they can enjoy one another intimately but without sex. Couples in this group have an opportunity they younger counter parts do not due to their maturity. Couples in their 20’s, 30’s and 40’s should spend time in other ways they are equally intimate. These decade grouping might have children. spending time with the children can be very intimate. a child’s first words, steps etc are all intimate and only increase the bond with your partner if you understand it. Playing catch in the backyard, watching a child’s ball game or recital are all intimate moments as is a graduation. Sharing special moments with your partner and children are very intimate one just needs to realize and understand this. This is one reason some couples experience “empty nest” syndrome when children move out. This can be overcome easily as well and even now while children are still at home. Were sexual intimacy does not define you as a couple nor does children. Find time for those “intimate moments” both sexual and non sexual. Even watching TV can be an intimate moment if shared correctly. Here is an example. My wife and I (after kids are asleep) begin watch TV. What we do though is this. We are sitting up in bed watching TV my wife lays her head on my chest and I place my arm around her. We might gently stroke each other while we watch. This some times leads to sexual intimacy but other times it does not. Its intimate but not always sexual. Couples in the 50’s and above might not being having sex as much if at all anymore. These couples more than any others need to keep that intimate bond. Finding hobbies and games you enjoy together can and is intimate. Pleasant conversation is as well. You can still hold hands and take that long walk as well. Remember true intimacy is not about the bedroom its about your lives as whole together. Looking through old photos, there is so much a couple can explore that is non sexual. If you want more hints or would like to discuss this article go to our forums. Remember sex is not intimacy its only a small portion of it. A strong relationship is built on so much more and this strong couple can enjoy so much even without sexual intimacy. You need only open your mind and heart

Mr. Sizzle

mrsizzle can be found at http://www.intimacyandsex.com/forum/